Breaking News!

24 Nov

The Vatican forgives John Lennon for saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus.

In 1966.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled activities.


33 Responses to “Breaking News!”

  1. buffalomom November 24, 2008 at 7:11 am #

    When I saw this, it made me so glad I left the Catholic Church long ago – before all the news about the priests molesting little boys…

    This just underscores how completely irrelevant and out of touch the Catholic Church is. Sad, because Jesus was a great man with all the right ideas. It just took the institution of the church to screw it all up.

    I mean, that’s like a kid from the third grade still being mad at you for getting Kid Power sneakers when his mom said no and he is still holding a grudge 30 years later. LOSER. Then, the kid decides to forgive you once holiday season. DOUBLE LOSER.

  2. LC Scotty November 24, 2008 at 8:47 am #

    Considering that they just pardoned Galileo a few years back for asserting the the earth goes around the sun, I’d say they’re making great progress on their backlog.

  3. George November 24, 2008 at 9:37 am #

    Seconding LC Scotty’s comment. The Church, in the last few years of John Paul II, made up with the Orthodox church for sacking Constantinople a millennium ago.

  4. mike November 24, 2008 at 9:47 am #

    Buffalomom finally gave up her real ID, she really is Martin Luther!!

  5. STEEL November 24, 2008 at 9:57 am #

    The Catholic Church ranks with the American auto makers in level cluelessness

  6. Judah Maccabbee November 24, 2008 at 10:49 am #

    Nice to see anti-Papist bigotry is prevalent among Buffalo’s “Progressive Intelligencia.” Don’t worry, Obama will fix that as well.

  7. Mr. Pink November 24, 2008 at 11:17 am #

    I did the jump and read the article. It wasn’t the Vatican, it was the Vatican’s newspaper and it looked like just a passing commnent, not some grand act of papal forgiveness. I guess it’s still OK to mock Catholics.

  8. Buffalopundit November 24, 2008 at 11:30 am #

    I love that I poke fun at something silly and all of a sudden I’m an anti-Catholic bigot. Any petit Bill Donohues ought lighten up or stay the f off the site. Seriously. If I need to hear unreasonable whinging, I’ll ask my 2 year-old to get dressed in the morning.

    And incidentally, that newspaper is owned by the Holy See. It’s not just the Vatican daily – it’s put out by the church.

  9. The Humanist November 24, 2008 at 12:16 pm #

    Pundit – how dare you mock an organization that protected child rapists in the US for decades. You bigot! (/sarcasm)

    Any Catholic who dares claim “victimhood” while propping up a corrupt, criminal enterprise that moved pedophiles from parish to parish to rape children can kiss my ass…two times.

  10. Mr. Pink November 24, 2008 at 1:13 pm #

    Petit Bill Donohues…now that’s funny. Wasn’t trying to be overly sensitive, I was pointing out that this seemed to be portaryed as one of those official Vatican proclamations regarding some past wrong doing and that wasn’t the case.

    Of course, my last line about Catholic mockery does seem a little over the top.

    As for the Humanist, looks like the Orthordox Jewish community is about to have a day of reckoning on child abuse as well. They should have learned from the Catholic Church’s complete mishandling of this.–orthodoxabuse1123nov23,0,6522788.story

  11. BuffaloBloviator November 24, 2008 at 1:36 pm #

    You anti-religion secular progressive guys (and girl) are sackless.

    It doesn’t take any courage to mock Catholics. Catholics are a big slow moving target. You don’t even have to take cover when you shoot at them.

    Lets see how you brave advocates of “imagine a world without religion” take aim at a religious group who fires back such as radical Islam.

    You guys are silent about the beheading and terrorist threats but you are front and center with the real atrocities like thirty year old sexual accusations about priests.

  12. Byron November 24, 2008 at 1:53 pm #

    I can’t tell if BB’s post is serious or parody. Maybe that was the idea.

  13. The Humanist November 24, 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    @Buffalo Bloviator – are you equating the Catholic Church with Al Queda? Sacrilege!

    Moderate Jews and Muslims take pains to distance themselves and condemn the extremist factions of their faiths. American Catholics take their cues from the likes of filthy bigots like Bill Donohue. I’m not saying every Catholic is the same ranting, racist demagogue like Donohue, but there is a reason he’s the head of the Catholic League, right?

    We seem to concentrate on Catholics because they number almost 70 million in the US alone. Comparatively, there are approximately 5.3 million Jews and anywhere from 2-7 million Muslims in the US. But Catholics are the oppressed minority, right?

  14. The Humanist November 24, 2008 at 2:02 pm #

    @Byron – I often wonder the same about her columns

  15. Jon Splett November 24, 2008 at 2:18 pm #

    Well seeing how the Catholics are big into that whole anti-abortion bombing abortion clinics stuff, I’ll gladly compare them to radical Islam. Sadly, our government doesn’t treat Jesus related terrorists the same way they treat Muslim terrorists because we’re run by Christians.

    And I’d say needing a magic 2000 year old zombie in the sky to cope with you’re own mortality is far more sackless Bloviator.

  16. indabuff November 24, 2008 at 2:22 pm #

    BP’s post is harmless and I have no problem with it because it is funny…the subsequent and moronic Catholic bashing comments are tasteless…anyone want to see the good work the Catholic church does, contact me and I will take you through parts of the East Side and West Side where most “progressive” folks wouldn’t dare to tread and where the Catholic church helps people regardless of race, religion or creed.

    There are evil people in every part of this world…bad Jews, bad doctors, bad Baptists, bad lawyers (Alan excluded), bad Muslims, bad Catholics, bad __________ (fill in the blank)

    We live in a country founded on religious tolerance…I also understand we live in a society that holds free speech near and dear…with that comes no guard against ignorance.

    Isn’t funny though that some of the most hateful comments to appear in this thread come from people who were the most ardent Obama supporters? You folks should take a long hard look at who you are and what you believe in.

  17. Judah Maccabbee November 24, 2008 at 2:33 pm #

    Oh trust me, I’m no Bill Donahue fan either — his Chicken Little schtick is a tad old. I just find it amusing how anytime the Church is mentioned in any article there has to be the obligatory “child molester” slam and therefore anything regarding the Church is instantly marginalized.

    Don’t worry, I’m not losing any sleep over it. I just love the whole dance of the ad hominum attack, someone calling them on it, and then some smarmy comeback to the person who noted the initial slam.

    So much for respecting other people’s belief structures…

  18. Jon Splett November 24, 2008 at 2:51 pm #

    Well, seeing how the Catholic belief structure has a long history of tolerance, I can see how you’d have the high ground on an issue like that…

  19. Eric P. November 24, 2008 at 3:05 pm #

    Imagine no Religion.

  20. The Humanist November 24, 2008 at 3:14 pm #

    @Judah – If you have a problem with people bringing up the words “pedophile”, “child rapists” and “molester” whenever the Catholic Church is mentioned, perhaps your ire is better directed at the bishops who not only harbored these child predators from the law, but knowingly moved them around the country to new hunting grounds.

    Don’t child-rape the messenger, so to speak.

  21. The Humanist November 24, 2008 at 3:19 pm #

    @indabuff –

    “You folks should take a long hard look at who you are and what you believe in.”

    (Humanist checks mirror)

    Yep, just like I thought….I am someone who could never belong to an organization that protected child rapists. And I believe that anyone who does and vehemently defends said organization when this topic is raised must then share their organization’s laissez-faire attitude toward child rape.

  22. Pauldub November 24, 2008 at 3:28 pm #

    A harmless post and a bunch of you go batshit crazy. IDB pretty much nails it with the exception of the Obama comment. Do you really think that is in any way, shape,or form related to the comments?

  23. Snarky Snarkmore McSnarkamaphone November 24, 2008 at 3:54 pm #

    You take the good,
    you take the bad,
    you take them both and there you have
    The Facts Of Life!

  24. indabuff November 24, 2008 at 4:01 pm #

    @PD As the usual, you are the voice of reason…I retract my Obama reference.

  25. Patrick November 24, 2008 at 5:43 pm #

    I’m glad they don’t hold a grudge or anything.

  26. hank November 24, 2008 at 6:02 pm #

    What’s funny is that the USA is the only part of the world (with the possible execption of the Vatican) where Lennon’s comments were taken completely the wrong way.

    He said what he said because he was already weary of Beatlemania. He was disgusted by the fan’s obsessions over the group, and felt that there was no reason for a musical group to (appear) to be more popular than Jesus.

    Was the Catholic Church wrong for the way they moved Priests around who they KNEW were molesting young boys (and sometimes Girls)? Absolutely.
    I witnessed it at the age of 9 at All Saints in Riverside(1966), walking into the school cafeteria not long after we were supposed to be all out of the building. I went home and told my parents. The boy being touched was my 2nd cousin.

    The priest was soon moved to another parish, but he routinely came back to Riverside for events like the 4th of July. I saw him there in 76, fresh out of Navy Boot Camp. I walked up to him, pulled out a switchblade and told him if he didn’t carry his ass out of the park, I’d remove the equipment he was going to use on my cousin from his body, using my cousins name and the year. He may have never known it was me that caught him and snitched him out. He left fast.

    What all that Catholic Bashing had to do with Pundit’s post is beyond me.

  27. mike hudson November 24, 2008 at 7:51 pm #


  28. Jeff November 24, 2008 at 11:56 pm #

    Religion is the invention of those small-minded enough to believe they have the intelligence to know why we’re all here.

    If people didn’t take it all so seriously, it would be more laughable.

    Instead it’s just dangerous.

  29. mike November 25, 2008 at 7:46 am #

    Finish that story hank, didnt you cornhole him too?

  30. hank November 25, 2008 at 6:25 pm #

    No Mike, I didn’t–but I’ve heard if you had tits on your back, you’re marriage material.

    Do you give a Serviceman’s discount? Your old lady does!

  31. Joe Blow November 25, 2008 at 8:25 pm #

    The Catholic Church has many left-of-center positions.

    Pope John Paul II was a vehement opponent of the U.S. invasion of Iraq.

    Pope John Paul II was also a fierce critic of U.S. style unrepentant Capitalism.

    The Catholic Church supports single-payer “socialized” health care. (As long as it does not include state-funded abortion)

    The Catholic Church officially endorses the rights of workers to form labor unions.

    The Catholic Church opposes The Death Penalty.

    The Catholic Church supports forgiveness of third-world debt.

    The Catholic Church in the U.S. officially supports an increase in the Minimum Wage.

    These are the reasons Bob Jones of Bob Jones Christian University fame asserted that The Pope is The Anti-Christ. These are the reasons that the fundamentalist protestant right-wing hates Catholics.

    Yet, only the anti-abortion zealotry of The Catholic Church gets attention from the media.

  32. Eric P. November 26, 2008 at 10:36 am #

    @Joe Blow,
    Religious fundamentalists are only a problem because the fundamentals of religion are a problem. Religious faith in unprovable nonsense is an ultimately destructive endeavor. Christopher Hitchens summed it up pretty well with the simple phrase, “what can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence”. Reason trumps faith; facts beat fairy tales; and knowledge crushes mythology. Groups or people that pretend to know what God wants are responsible for most the big tragedies throughout history, from sadistic pricks like St. Augustine to our current president, who justify all manner of hateful and harmful idiocy in the name of God.

    The Catholic Church in particular, has a long, sickening and brutal history of maintaining ignorance, fear and misery. Even now, how helpful is the Church in fighting AIDS or promoting family planning in the developing world? How about the fact that religious fairy-tales written by people that thought the earth was flat present huge obstacles to medical research and practices that could actually help people.

    Fuck religion – it is a silly, and ultimately harmful, waste of time.
    Your myth is an awesome myth – and i’m sick of hearing about it.

    I defy anyone to show me any positive thing that has come from religion that couldn’t have otherwise been accomplished without the religious fairy tale components of myth, faith and ignorance.

    BTW, the Beatles will always be bigger than Jesus in my book. Name one good song by Jesus. Oh, thats right, fictional characters don’t make records.

  33. mike November 26, 2008 at 1:22 pm #

    From soprono’s wiki “Father Phil tells Carmela at some point: “If you take everything Jesus has ever said, added up, it only amounts to two hours of talk” to which Carmela replies “I heard the same thing about the Beatles except it was if you add up all their songs it only comes to ten hours”.

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