BREAKING NEWS: World Peace Breaks Out

7 Jul

I’ve been on vacation for the last week, so I haven’t been plugged into the news cycle. But I checked back in today, to learn the world peace had broken out. Iran was no longer stifling dissidents, Honduras had solved its Constitutional and Presidential crisis, Obama had fixed everything with Russia, and even Mayor Brown had stopped brow-beating City Hall employees into volunteering for his campaign. I mean, if these things didn’t happen, why else would every news channel, media outlet, and website be spending every waking moment on Michael Jackson.

Let’s get a couple things straight: Michael Jackson was Howard Hughes, not John Lennon. The world does not need to be in mourning. He wasn’t even a relevant musical artist for the last 15 years. And U2 is bigger. Way bigger.

For the most serious, insightful, and true story of the death of Michael Jackson, read here.

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