Top Ten Uses for the Sheriff’s Red Chopper

16 Mar

Other uses for the Sheriff’s shiny red helicopter:

10. Rescuing kittens from trees
9. Breaking up street fights
8. Crowd control before and after Sabres games
7. Cooling people down on very hot days
6. Building it to the curb
5. Going to Texarkana and coming back with cases of Coors in just 24 hours- Eastbound & down.
4. Getting Chris Collins in touch with the people
3. Best McDonald’s run ever
2. Getting the kids from ballet to swimming
1. Burning that sweet, sweet fuel

11 Responses to “Top Ten Uses for the Sheriff’s Red Chopper”

  1. Mike March 16, 2010 at 10:47 am #

    I remember seeing them barrel down upon a recreational boater once on the Nia River. Vietnam is over man; you’re home Capt.

  2. Eric Saldanha March 16, 2010 at 10:48 am #

    #5 – lol. I’ll take Sheriff Buford T. Justice over Sheriff Rosco P. Howard anyday. Sumbitch.

  3. Ward March 16, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    Why did your colleague on WNY Media leave out this sentence from the post: “A former area resident, Holt is wanted on three outstanding warrants from California and Idaho for burglary and domestic assault, state police said”?

    Not just a fare-skipper.
    But of course, that piece of information would ruin your “waste of money” and “Tim Howard is a doofus” memes.

    • Alan Bedenko March 16, 2010 at 12:23 pm #

      They knew that when he skipped on the cab fare? Wow, their psychics are better than I thought.

      • Ward March 16, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

        Here’s a deal for you: As soon as I ask the question that your answer goes to, you can save it up and give it then.
        In the meantime, my original question: Why did your colleague omit that sentence?

      • Jon Splett March 16, 2010 at 3:24 pm #

        They may have know that. They ran his credit card and had it denied, so it’s reasonable to believe they had his name and that the Sheriff’s department could have run a check for a warrant. 

        Even still, whatever the hell that helicopter costs to fly could have been better spent assigning a guard to suicide watch at the jails. Outstanding warrants in other states shouldn’t be a higher priority than preventing even more deaths in prisons here.

    • Eric Saldanha March 16, 2010 at 1:03 pm #

      Reminds me of the the time Sheriff Rosco was in th’ patrol car and his hound Flash jumped in the front seat, making him swerve and crash into a car carrying a couple of Yankees who just happened to be up-to-no-good mobsters. Hot pursuit…kew,kew,kew!

  4. JZ March 16, 2010 at 1:17 pm #

    Alan, you are killing me! I just fell off my chair with this. How about strapping a stuffed Shark to the Chopper and transporting it across County Lines?

  5. Wyatt March 16, 2010 at 2:33 pm #

    Somebody who finally understands! This Cop mentanlity of “whe have to have every toy on the planet and bill the taxpayer” has to stop. Alan Bedenko you are a hero! Thanks for this.

  6. mike March 16, 2010 at 6:11 pm #

    I thought this post was about the rescue of the mutt on the ice in lake Erie, it took two days to save the refugee from a Chinese restaurant.

  7. SuEllen March 17, 2010 at 4:06 pm #

    Wait until August when the War against Weeeeeeeed begins!

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