PolitiFAIL Tourney Results, Day 1

23 Mar

The results from Day 1 of the 2010 WNY PolitiFAIL Tournament are in and some of the results are surprising.

In the first matchup, we had what appeared to be the equivalent of Syracuse vs. Vermont, with Mayor Byron Brown facing off against Delaware District Councilman Michael LoCurto.  Mayor Brown rained FAIL down upon Mr. LoCurto and swamped him early and easily as he cruised to a 255-18 romp.  Mayor Brown now advances to meet the winner of the Demone Smith/Mickey Kearns matchup.  Will we see a rematch of the 2009 Mayoral election in Round 2?

In the second matchup in the City FAIL Bracket, North District Councilman Joe Golombek took on University Heights Councilwoman Bonnie Russell.  This turned out to be a cakewalk for Ms. Russell as she took it to Golombek early and often with her two fisted dose of FAIL; Grassroots Membership and Ethical Scandals.  We thought Joe “Serbian Club” Golombek and his disdain for Sam Hoyt might rile the readership, but the voters seemed to appreciate his big picture thinking and love of sausage.  Russell moves on to face off against the winner of the FAILoff between Deputy Mayor Steve Casey and Rep. Brian Higgins.  She certainly has an uphill battle ahead of her, but we think she might have the FAIL goods to keep it competitive.

In the third matchup and the first from our County bracket, we saw Erie County Legislator Lynn Marinell take on Erie County Legislator and Minority Leader John Mills.  Marinelli’s tenure in office as opposed to Mills’ bump on a log record seemed to be an interesting contrast in styles of FAIL.  This one came down to the wire with Marinelli squeaking out a victory over Mills by a margin of 104-102.  In the end, it appears Mills did not have a big enough record to sit on in order to get a proper seat at the FAIL table.  Marinelli moves on to face the winner of the matchup between Erie County Sheriff Tim “Rosco P. Coltrane” Howard and Erie County Comptroller Mark “Not an accountant, but I have lots of nerdy friends” Poloncarz.

In the day’s final showdown, we had Erie County Executive Chris “Let Them Eat Cake” Collins taking on Erie County Legislator and newly minted Pigeonista, Tim Kennedy.  While we don’t have firm evidence, we did hear that Kennedy texted in his vote while driving.  We were surprised by the closeness of this matchup, frankly.

While Kennedy is the type of fumfering, mildly competent leadership that is the norm in Western New York, we didn’t think he would come close to matching FAIL with Collins and his army of Talking Phone Book executives and administrative bootlickers.  Kennedy got off to an early lead until Collins pulled ahead early in the second half with a barrage of anti-urban proposals and excuses for his incompetent management and leadership of the County Correctional Facilities.  At the half, we hear that Collins was given a pep talk by the UB Center for Industrial Effectiveness which coached him to Define, Measure, Analyze, Design and Verify his FAIL strategy to stay within the bounds of Six Sigma methodology.  His businesslike approach to providing the freshest and most measured dose of FAIL earned him the victory over Kennedy in the waning minutes, 306-287.  Collins moves on to take on the winner of the Barbara “Fat Pension” Miller-Williams and Ray “Rolleyes” Walter showdown.  We expect the BMW/Walter matchup to feature an excessive number of parliamentary missteps followed by excessive sighing.

See you tomorrow!

2 Responses to “PolitiFAIL Tourney Results, Day 1”

  1. Ray Walter March 24, 2010 at 12:57 pm #

    That’s funny stuff . . . sigh.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. PolitiFAIL Tourney Results So Far | WNYmedia.net - March 25, 2010

    […] Day One Results […]

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