Let’s Have a Toast

25 Oct

There’s been a lot in the news lately about bullying and the affects it can have on kids.  I’ve never been particularly handsome or thin, so when I was a kid I was subjected to my share of bullying.  I was lucky always to have close friends, and being an only child certainly helped in terms of what I’d term “dealing with assholes“.

Bullying and hate speech must be particularly difficult for kids who are different because of something inherent in their being; something they can’t change. For instance, being mocked for your ethnicity, race, religion, or sexual orientation.  I can only imagine how crushing it must be for a kid who’s gay – or even an effeminate straight kid – to be called hateful, dehumanizing names.

I know that as I teach my kids right from wrong, I’ll do everything in my power to keep them from bullying other kids, to instill in them a need to accept and appreciate people’s uniqueness and differences, and that I will defend them and protect them to the best of my abilities against being bullied by others.

On Saturday night, someone I followed on Twitter whose username is “Jeffrey_Dennis” called me a “no talent fuck”, a “fathead”, and compared my likeness to that of a character from an extremely obscure, short-lived failure of a mid-90s sitcom.   Who the hell is “Jeffrey Dennis“?

When douchebags tweet

Jeffrey Dennis Hannon.  Carl Paladino’s recently offended, openly gay nephew.

You may recall that candidate Carl Paladino had a problem a couple of weeks ago regarding his stance on homosexuality. After parroting bigoted anti-gay nonsense written down for him by detestable homophobe Yehuda Levin, Paladino had to backtrack, claiming to totally support and be completely ok with homosexuality except for the *yuck* idea that they might love each other and get married, or enter into civil unions:

I just think my children and your children would be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family, and I don’t want them brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option — it isn’t,” he said. ”I didn’t march in the gay parade this year — the gay pride parade this year. My opponent did, and that’s not the example we should be showing our children.”

I don’t know how it works in your family, but none of my uncles would make a crack about something about me that I can’t change.  No one in my family would parrot someone else’s hate speech and pass it off as their own.

Yet Jeff Hannon, a 23 year-old nephew of Carl Paladino’s, has evidently forgiven his uncle, and went on Twitter Saturday night to call me fat and ugly.  Guilty, as charged.

His childish insults are like a badge of honor.

Because I’m better than Jeff Hannon; I’m better than this 23 year-old scion of Important Buffalo Families®, working for his nouveau-riche megalomaniacal uncle, making over $250k at Uncle Carl’s Ellicott Development. (That’s two hundred and fifty thousand plus reasons to quickly forgive one’s asshole uncle-cum-boss).  Let’s have a toast to the douchebags. Good looking kid, born into wealth and influence  – must be nice.  Tough life, there.  

And to think, I feel badly for that kid.  It must suck being so publicly insulted by your own flesh and blood.  Why, Uncle Carl himself noted that Hannon “suffers every day with discriminatory people.” It must be crushing to belong to a political party that has no respect or use for him or his ilk.  No joke, the Republican platform on gay rights is nonexistent, and when the issue comes up, mainstream Republican dogma on gay rights differs only stylistically from that of the Westboro Baptist Church. Let’s have a toast to the assholes.

The GOP has spent the last three decades aligning itself with Christian fundamentalists on social issues, making a crystal clear choice in favor of bigotry over love.

I think Carl Paladino’s nephew Jeff Hannon should enjoy the civil right to marry someone he loves, regardless of gender. Uncle Carl doesn’t, nor ever would. Let’s have a toast for the scumbags.

While Mr. Hannon may have worn purple last week, I doubt that his uncle did.  He seems like a hateful, petty little kid.  I hope he grows up someday.

13 Responses to “Let’s Have a Toast”

  1. wcp October 25, 2010 at 9:08 am #

    WOW!!! Sweet kid.

  2. Hank October 25, 2010 at 10:11 am #

    ” Jeff Hannon should enjoy the civil right to marry someone he loves, regardless of gender.”

    Not exactly. If he wants to enter into a recognized civil union for the purposes of equal protection under the law, I’m all for it.

    Marriage is a Sacrament of the Church which binds MEN AND WOMEN together under God’s law (not woman and woman, and not man and man) for many purposes, most important of which is propagation of children. Homosexuals, much as they would like to widen their ranks, cannot reproduce. Perhaps this is why many homosexuals do not believe in God, because it does not fit in to the way they live their lives. One of my cousins was a life long atheist. When he died, I thought. There he is, all dressed up, and no place to go.

  3. Brian Castner October 25, 2010 at 10:21 am #

    “mainstream Republican dogma on gay rights differs only stylistically from that of the Westboro Baptist Church.”

    Can you find the plank on the Republican platform that says God hates America, and our soliders deserve to die, because of gays and lesbians? No, I didn’t think so.

    • Alan Bedenko October 25, 2010 at 11:06 am #

      @Brian – What I said is that mainstream Republican dogma on gay rights differs only stylistically from that of the Westboro Baptist Church.

      For instance, take a look at the New York Sun’s (lonely) endorsement of Carl Paladino:

      Mr. Paladino also spoke of his mistakes in the campaign, including his comments about homosexuals in the meeting with the Chasidim in Williamsburg. He regretted not confining his remarks to the issue of same gender marriage and failing to express what he so clearly conveyed to this small group, his evident warmth toward homosexual colleagues, family, and friends. It was after his remarks in Williamsburg that Mr. Cuomo suggested Mr. Paladino is a bigot. Mr. Paladino was asked why he didn’t demand to know whether Mr. Cuomo also thought that Orthodox Jews — and, for that matter, religious Catholics — were also bigots. He confessed he was not good at such repartee.

      That’s because Jews and Catholics who oppose gay people’s civil rights point to this:

      Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination. (Leviticus 18:22)

      If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. (Leviticus 20:13)

      Shorter Leviticus: “God hates Fags”.

  4. Brian Castner October 25, 2010 at 11:19 am #

    @ Alan: Don’t confuse Republican platforms with either Carl Paladino or Leviticus. We could spend the next couple days discussing whether the God described in Jewish or Christian scripture hates anyone, but that’s another matter that has nothing to do with this.

    Your bomb throwing is effective, but incorrect, and the link between Leviticus – Carl – Republicans – Westboro Baptist hatred of American soldiers is at least tenuous, if not libelous. The civil rights issue you reference is civil unions/marriage for gays and lesbians. Liberals are for it. Republicans and Obama are against it. Republicans (and Obama) don’t say God hates anyone, or should be put to death for that matter. By your logic, Obama thinks all our soldiers deserve to die in Afghanistan because he doesn’t think gays should marry? Because don’t gloss over the actual Westboro message, in your attempt to sensationalize.

    • Alan Bedenko October 25, 2010 at 11:25 am #

      Westboro Baptist hates everything because God hates Fags. To them, God hating Fags is the crux of everything. You’ll recall they picketed a flight 3407 memorial, claiming that the plane crashed because of America’s acceptance of homosexuality. So, your efforts to turn this into something having to do with the troops is misinformed and misdirected. Westboro Baptist says God hates Fags, and that’s the center of their universe. Many mainstream religions are more mild in their anti-gay pronouncements, but they come from the same source.

      Also, don’t let’s pretend like the national GOP hasn’t been almost completely consumed by the religious Christianist right since the time of Reagan. Because I’m shocked it hasn’t added the word “Christian” somewhere in its name yet, like the German CDU.

  5. Brian Castner October 25, 2010 at 11:47 am #

    Westboro Baptist may hate everyone, but our plane crash in Clarence notwithstanding, they are best known for their efforts at military funerals: http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2010/1006/Supreme-Court-Can-Westboro-Baptist-Church-protest-military-funerals I turn it into a thing about the troops because Westboro . . . is about the troops.

    But to your original point, their opposition to everyone means your linking of them to any Republican platform is even more inaccurate. You can’t equate being against gay marriage and hating gays. Your lumping of Westboro into every other Christian group into the Republican party is the tribalism you rail against on the other side.

  6. Matt October 25, 2010 at 4:16 pm #

    @Hank, the earliest instances of marriage were of a civil nature and a lot of times they were business arrangements that had nothing to do with any god. There are infertile and elderly couples that can’t have children and they can get married. The same goes for couples that never plan to have children. The marriages of atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, Hindus and any other group not associated with “the Church” are all recognized.

  7. Jaquandor October 25, 2010 at 5:56 pm #

    You can’t equate being against gay marriage and hating gays.

    After reading a bit of the platform of the Texas Republican Party — which is a pretty mainstream summation of what passes for GOP “thought” these days — I say, why yes, I can equate being against gay marriage and hating gays.

  8. Brian Castner October 25, 2010 at 6:35 pm #

    Can you give an example?

  9. Tim Moran October 25, 2010 at 7:17 pm #

    Under the law Marriage is a license issued by the state through local government.

    Religions, clubs, taverns, and dart leagues are free to conduct rituals and celebrations of their own device but the only “Marriage” recognized by gov’t around the globe are the ones that are “sanctified” by low level civil service employees.

  10. kris October 25, 2010 at 9:51 pm #

    meanwhile…the tweet is gone!

  11. Tuco October 26, 2010 at 12:00 am #

    …mainstream Democrat dogma on the enviornment differs only stylistically from that of the Earth Liberation Front.
    Hyperbole is fun!

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