Shorter Esmonde

19 Aug

Part of the running “Donn Esmonde is an Ass” series, “shorter” takes a typical 500-word Esmonde column and reduces it to a couple of sentences. I try to preserve the general tone and theme of the original column while boiling it down to its essential point. Think of it as a public service: I read it so you don’t have to. 


Regarding the awful, horrible, soul-sucking pits of racism we call “suburbs”, at least one has thankfully come around to my way of thinking and decided to make their streets less treacherous. 


If I were Bernie Tolbert’s campaign manager, he’d be losing in a different way. His refusal to read my mind and follow my phantom campaign strategy means he is “woefully unprepared” – not to be mayor, but to run for mayor.1

1As an aside, I will note that I receive all of Tolbert’s campaign releases and his problem isn’t not issuing press releases or holding news conferences quickly enough after news comes out – his problem is the town’s reductive media either ignoring him completely or preempting the mayoral race for Extra and Jeopardy. If Esmonde thinks that something’s wrong with the mayoral race, a lot of the blame sits firmly with the way it’s being covered. 

Meanwhile, Tolbert is the first mayoral candidate to secure statements – on tape – from two police officers (who are anonymized to prevent retaliation) who explain how the Brown Administration plays games with crime statistics in Buffalo. It’s shocking. 

5 Responses to “Shorter Esmonde”

  1. Carey1518 August 19, 2013 at 9:57 am #

    A much softer tone after your Martha fluff moment about your easy bake oven. Little pizzas are awful cute.

    • Alan Bedenko August 19, 2013 at 11:12 am #

      Calling him an ass with the “Donn Esmonde is an ass” graphic is “softer tone”?

      And you’re absolutely right. I have never used “shorter Esmonde” before – except when I used it on July 1, June 21st, June 25th of 2012, June 23rd, July 8th, and July 27, 2008.

      I don’t know what a “Martha fluff moment” is.

      I thought you were “done here”. You can’t stand how much you love me.

      Have a great day!

      • Hank Kaczmarek August 19, 2013 at 12:17 pm #

        The Corruption in City Government is astounding. Can’t help thinking the Republicans are behind it. Wait a minute, there ARE NO REPUBLICANS in City Government, and haven’t been for decades.
        I don’t know what a “Martha Fluff moment” is either. Wonder if it’s something to eat.

      • UncleBluck August 19, 2013 at 1:25 pm #

        Once again posting non or half truths as usual…….

  2. JKR August 20, 2013 at 12:28 pm #

    It’s comical to watch these mayoral canadates campaign to suburban voters despite they don’t have a vote for city mayor.

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