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Long Live Cuomoism and our People’s Socialist Government!

10 Jan

Here is what the New York commentariat considers to be a “hard left turn” for Governor Cuomo

Equal pay for equal work for females. Clearly, the notion that female labor be subject to the same remuneration as male labor is a wild socialist plot that will soon see the Bolsheviks come for your land and goats. 

Tax breaks for startups and money for high-tech clusters. Entreprenueriat of the world, unite! 

Confiscation of guns possessed by the mentally infirm. Stalin. Hitler*

Three upstate casinos. Under a proper socialist regime, those casinos would only be able to be patronized by foreigners in order for the regime to earn some needed hard currency. At last check, New Yorkers will not only be permitted, but encouraged, to hit the tables and slots. 

Expanding school years or days. Socialist indoctrination takes time. 

$1.50 hike in minimum wage to $8.75. Else the red banner be raised and the Spartacists take to the streets of Albany. 

Pairing community colleges with employers. Smash the kolkhozniki

“Civilian Emergency Response Corps” to help with natural disasters. AKA “Komsomol“. 

A “bar exam” for teachers to pass before certification. Comrade teacher, you will educate the vanguard of the entreprenueriat. 

Longer prison sentences for gun crimes. The upstate gulag archipelago demands warm bodies. 

Reforming & liberalizing marijuana possession laws. Pot is the opiate of the masses. 

I, for one, welcome our new communard overlords. 



*I add Hitler to be extra-facetious.  Despite what ignoramuses may tell you, Hitler was by no means a “socialist” despite the presence of that word within “National Socialism”. Naziism is about as far removed from Marxism-Leninism and Stalinism as a political ideology can be.