Tag Archives: scam

The Esmonde Template

7 Oct

Sunday brought us a treat – the quintessential Donn Esmonde congratubatory piece. The foundational document. The template. The “we the columnist” from the tea party champion.

It has everything – Tim Tielman, “lighter, quicker, cheaper”, Mark Goldman, and a generalized thesis whereby the general public is populated by cretins who are just now awakening to the genius of the positions of Esmonde and friends. 

All in all, it reinforces the accuracy of some of my theories. For instance, the one where preservationist hero Tim Tielman is the capo of a local preservation racket. Just hire the right people, and suddenly preservationist opposition to whatever demolition or renovation project you’re proposing simply evaporates. The Neighborhood Workshop Thuggery.

I know Esmonde has recently written two concern-trolls regarding the Buffalo Schools – one whereby our self-hating, upper-middle class, elitist white guy hero feigns outrage at racism in the board of education, and another where he knows better than the school district’s superintendent, who quite literally has what amounts to an impossible job. I’m sure Buffalo School Superintendent Dr. Pamela Brown enjoys having a failing school district to run on the one hand, and racist assholes gunning for her removal every. few. weeks, on the other. Esmonde whitesplains all of this for our benefit, ignoring the fact that he voluntarily abandoned his education bona fides when he touted his business partner’s charter school chops, and decided that it would be perfectly swell if Clarence schools’ quality was degraded. 

Want to develop Canal Side? You’ll have a lot of problems from Mark Goldman & his crew unless you spend six figures of public money to hire Fred Kent & Partnership for Public Spaces to educate you on “placemaking” and benches. (Placemaking is the wholly unscientific theory that people will go where other people are. The thing it omits is what it was that attracted the “other people” in the first place.)

Want to develop the Larkin District? Hire a planner well-regarded in preservationist circles to promote the project, and retain Tielman’s company, too, while you’re at it. Suddenly, all your problems will disappear.

Someone explain to me how this is any different from paying protection money to the mob to prevent that same mob from blocking your project and seeking injunctive relief. Don’t want Tim Tielman organizing a picket of your project? Put him on the payroll.  You tell me what that’s called

Lighter, quicker, cheaper brought one restaurant and some Adirondack chairs to Canal Side. Everything else – everything – is temporary, slow, or transient. Go down there on a rainy Sunday and – if you’re not interested in getting wet, and you’ve already seen the Naval museum,  I challenge you to find something to do other than have a beer at Liberty Hound.  It should have shops, cafes, restaurants (plural), maybe a museum or gallery – things more compelling than a temporary stage and “flexible lawns”. Solar-powered carousels don’t count (this was a real suggestion – as if a kid gives a crap about the sustainability of a carousel’s propulsion fuel). 

The Cobblestone now has a restaurant, the Helium comedy club, a casino, and a bar or two. It’s walking distance from Canalside, but the Harbor Center construction makes it difficult to reach.

I wonder if Goldman or Tielman are partners with Esmonde in some business endeavor? Tielman has degrees from SUNY Binghamton in art history, political science, and geography. I don’t know what Tielman’s profession once was, but it looks like he took a hobby and parlayed it into a well-paid position as the community’s gatekeeper for preservation issues. Must be nice. 

Scam Alert

3 May

If you receive a letter such as the one shown below advising you that you’ve won two free plane tickets from a real-sounding airline, you ought to know that it’s a scam. I don’t quite know why these sorts of places are allowed to operate for years without being thrown into jail and punitively fined by authorities, but there you are. 

Another Succinct 419 Scam

13 Aug

The bolded sections are full of win. Please feel free to bait:

ALL REPLY SHOULD BE SENT TO OUR DIRECT MAIL VAI amerigo_eunenio@live.com

Greetings!!!

Customers Service Hours–Monday to Saturday:
Office Hours Monday to Saturday:
Attention! Attention!! Attention!!!

We the management and staff of Multi-National Oil Company have your email address as a winner in our end of year email ballotting promotion and have deposited a certified Bank draft of $800.000.00 United States Dollars with the FedEx Courier Company for collection, but we did not hear from you since that time. Then we went and deposited the Draft with FEDEX COURIER COMPANY, West Africa.

What you have to do now is to contact the FEDEX COURIER COMPANYas soon as possible to know when they will deliver your package to you because of the expiring date. For your information,We have paid for the delivery Charges,Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that itis not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country.
The only charges you will send to the FEDEX COURIER COMPANY to deliver your Draft direct to your postal Address in your country is ( $250 )Dollars only being payment for Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company . Again,don’t be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except $250 USD Dollars as stipulated by the company.

We would have payed, but they said no because theydon’t know when you will contact them and in case of any
demurrage
.You have to contact the FEDEX COURIER COMPANY now for the delivery of your Draft with this information below:
Send the following details highlighted below for reconfirmation:

1. FULL NAME
2. DELIVERY ADDRESS
3. PHONE NUMBER

The above informations should be sent to:
Name: Humprey Hill
Status: fedex Dispatch Director
Email Address:amerigo_eunenio@live.com
Phone Number:+2348076381246

Finally, make sure that you re-confirm your Postal address(s) and Direct telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery after payment and ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your package over there and know when it will get to your address that you would provide.However,try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay and remember to send them their Security Keeping fee of only $250 USDollars for their immediate action.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs Alan Rita
Secretary.

Full headers after the jump. Continue reading

A New Twist on the 419 Scam?

12 Aug

Received today:

Goodday to you dearest,

Do you Need Loan to pay off your bills? Have you been denied loan from the Bank?
Are you scared to apply for a Loan Online ? Guess What !!! here are the answers
for your loaning question. We offer cheap and fast loans with no credit
background and also well protected security for our customers.If fully
interested in our offer, you are here by advise to contact us today with your
loaning needs via email at: oluwafinancialloanfirm@myself.com

INFORMATION NEEDED FROM BORROWERS
ARE THIS BELOW.

Your full Name:
Age:
Date of Birth:
Amount Needed as Loan:
Duration:
Purpose for Loan:
Telephone:
Address:
Occupation:
Country:

Warmest Regards
OLUWATOBI FINANCIAL SERVICE.

Full message headers after the jump Continue reading

419 Letter of the Day

8 Jul

Delivered-To: buffalopundit@gmail.com
Received: by 10.90.83.3 with SMTP id g3cs80125agb;
Tue, 8 Jul 2008 05:06:05 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.100.13.5 with SMTP id 5mr4748142anm.86.1215518765271;
Tue, 08 Jul 2008 05:06:05 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path:
Received: from gateway13.websitewelcome.com (gateway13.websitewelcome.com [69.41.245.6])
by mx.google.com with SMTP id c23si4048749ana.18.2008.07.08.05.06.04;
Tue, 08 Jul 2008 05:06:05 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: pass (google.com: domain of tyrone@escape.websitewelcome.com designates 69.41.245.6 as permitted sender) client-ip=69.41.245.6;
Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: domain of tyrone@escape.websitewelcome.com designates 69.41.245.6 as permitted sender) smtp.mail=tyrone@escape.websitewelcome.com
Received: (qmail 24234 invoked from network); 8 Jul 2008 12:10:49 -0000
Received: from escape.websitewelcome.com (67.18.52.66)
by gateway13.websitewelcome.com with SMTP; 8 Jul 2008 12:10:49 -0000
Received: from tyrone by escape.websitewelcome.com with local (Exim 4.68)
(envelope-from )
id 1KGBxL-0005tW-T5
for buffalopundit@gmail.com; Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:06:03 -0500
To: buffalopundit@gmail.com
Subject: HELLO
From: Mrs. Elena Morris
Reply-To: advocatevanjoe@aol.com
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Message-Id:
Date: Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:06:03 -0500
X-AntiAbuse: This header was added to track abuse, please include it with any abuse report
X-AntiAbuse: Primary Hostname – escape.websitewelcome.com
X-AntiAbuse: Original Domain – gmail.com
X-AntiAbuse: Originator/Caller UID/GID – [33922 33924] / [47 12]
X-AntiAbuse: Sender Address Domain – escape.websitewelcome.com

Hello Dear

My name is Mrs. Elena Morris; I am a dying woman who has decided to
donate what I have to you and the charity organization around your community. I am 62 years old and I was diagnosed for cancer for about 2 years ago immediately after the death of my husband who has left me everything he worked for and because the doctors told me I will not live longer than some weeks because of my health i decided to WILL/donate the sum of $5.700.000.00 to you.

Here is the Contact information of my Attorney below:
VAN DER JOEL ADVOCATEN
ANTWOORD 1070 AM PARNASSUSWEG BOULEVARD
AMSTERDAM NETHERLANDS

Email: advocatevanjoe@aol.com
Email: advocatejol08@yahoo.com

Barr: Van Der Joel Advocaten

and tell him that I have WILLED $5.700.000.00 to you I know I don’t know you but I have been directed to do this.

Best Regards,

From Mrs. Elena Morris.

————————————–

If you decide to bait them, let me know how it goes.

419 Letter of the Day

19 Mar

Feel free to bait this scammer, in the spirit of 419eater.com:

MANAGING PARTNER
KENNETH SMITH, ESQ.
Berkshires House, 168-173 High Holborn, London WCIV 7AA
United Kingdom.

NOTIFICATION OF BEQUEST
On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Fernando Sergio Morales;I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter returned undelivered.I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address on the WILL. I wish to notify you that late Engr. Fernando Sergio Morales made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Six Million One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$6,100.000.00 ) to you in the codicil and last testament to his WILL.

This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real andtrue. Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were recommended to him by one of hisnumerous friends abroad who wished you good. Engr. Miramontes Louise Ramuald until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers. He had a very goodheart and loved to give out.

His great philanthropy earned him numerous awards during his lifetime.Late Engr.Fernando Sergio Morales died on the 13th day of December,2005 at the age of 80 years, and his WILL is now ready for execution.According to him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in our society. Please if I reach you this time as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job.

I hope to hear from you in no distant time through the email address below.

barr.ken_smith_esq@yahoo.com,
abogado_kensmith_esq@lawyer.com.
Yours in Service,
Barrister kenneth Smith, ESQ…

Bonus points to anyone who rickrolls this jackass.